What's my name? (Hint: It's not Snoop Doggy Dogg)

OK, so I have a weird name. But you know, where I come from, it's not an uncommon name at all. I get a lot of weird questions. "Are you the God of Thunder," they will ask. "Are you a motorcycle equipment manufacturer?", "Are you my source for Fiber Optics, Laser Diodes, Optical Instrumentation and Polarization," some ask. "Are you a Danish Brewery Group?", "Are you high tech?", "Are you the legendary Rock Warrior?", "Are you an All-Tube Audio Component?" or simply "Does your tool revolutionize one roofer at a time, 100 percent satisfaction guaranteed?"

Unfortunately, I have to answer no. No, I am not a low level laser. I am not a Belgian Interpretive Dance Company, and my roommates know that I am hardly the most experienced named in Laundry. And no, I will not show you my Norwegian wood, "Thorgasm" is not even a word, and I sincerely have no intention of revolutionizing one roofer at a time with my tool.

Sorry people. Just learn to live with it.