Usman Gambo, Gold Digger - UPDATED 5! (This is getting insane!)

Salam ..
I want to seek your help and intrest in helping me and my friends to sell the quantity of 168 kgs of 22 carats gold in bars.

Picture attached (Gold)

Please reply quickly if you can help us.

usmangambo

(Mr. Gambo posted this very flattering picture of himself wrapping up candy bars.)



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Dear Usman Mongo,

Thanks for your kind message!

I am very new to the gold selling business, but it sounds very interesting! After my wife died in a fisting accident, leaving me an inheritance of several million, I have been looking for a good investment.

My keen business instinct tells me this is a great opportunity, and I look forward to doing business with you! Also, selling the gold in bars is a bold and interesting business strategy! Maybe we can sell it at Hooters!

Where is the gold located? As you well know, I am in the U.S., but I have a contact at the U.S. customs office in the Los Angeles Port Authority, CA, who might help us get it smoothly through customs. Gold prices are at a historic high right now, so this is a good time to do business!

(Also, is that you in the picture? Are you single?)

Please tell me more about this business opportunity, and I look forward to hearing from you!

With best regards,

Paul Frankenfückler, M.D.

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Dear Mr Paul,

Thanks for your message as well.

We are capable of selling and sending gold to any country including USA and Europe , with all relevant legal documents including certificate.

Our Condition/Process is as follows.
The buyer must come to Guinea Conakry for a face to face meeting, physical evaluation and inspection of the gold or diamonds and signing of agreement which will be endorsed by Justice of Peace of the Republic. After which one of our representatives will accompany the buyer together with the gold to buyer’s destination of Choice, or refinery where full payment for the gold and diamonds must be made to us within the first 72 hours of the arrival of the gold.
Payment, we accept payment after sales of the gold but on strict condition that the buyer must do the physical inspection of the gold here in Guinea Conakry in presence of the Gold owners, authentic or Government recognized Agreement signed which content will state clearly buyer’s commitment to respect the agreement to pay for the GOLD within the agreed timetable.

Our preferred system of payment is SWIFT BANK TRANSFER into our bank account in Guinea Commercial bank which isECOBANK.

Please Sir, we have gold from 200 to up 450KGS and on regular basis.
We have stated this in many of our messages, that GOLD bars business is a daily business, as thousands of people out there in the bush, mining gold dust &Bars the clock 24/7 and that’s how we get the supplies.

It simply mean to say that there is no time, a serious buyer will come around that there will not be surplus gold dust and bar to sell to him.

We are looking for someone like to go into parternship with you as we have our site which we need a foreighn partern ,

Urgently we need your full direct for easy communication.

We hope above have answered/giving your desired assurance
Just kindly confirm this mail so that we can proceed immediately.

Regards,

Usman Gambo
+224 64 65 28 28

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Dear Mr. Mongo,

My apologies for my late response, I've been busy with insurance arrangements after my wife died in an "accident", making me a happy, single and fabulously wealthy man! Hooray!

Your e-mail of today gave me much insurance of your serious and business-savvy nature.

My number is 416-925-9872 x2080 (THOR'S NOTE: AGAIN, THIS IS THE TORONTO LESBIAN TENNIS ASSOCIATION), but we have had some problems with international calls (there tends to be a lot of noise on the line, so make sure you speak very loud and clear! Nevermind the office assistant (and her very masculine voice, I'm suspecting her of not being a true woman. I shall inspect her hardware myself in the very near future), just tell her to leave a message for the boss).

I am all for a face to face meeting, but I am not sure my very large and pestilent physique will pass a rigorous physical evaluation like yours. Please describe the areas of my physique you will investigate (will you do this personally?) and I will make sure that these areas will be in ship shape!

Thank you for the payment info, it should be no problem at all - my bank does a very good job on these issues, like one would expect from a bank.

What would be a good time for me to come to tropical paradise Guinea? Are all pigs in your country Guinea Pigs, and if so, what is a Guinea Pig called in Guinea? I bet it's called an America Pig!

Seriously, though, this sounds like an excellent business opportunity, and I very much look forward to collaborating with you! I look forward to years of mutually profitable business and maybe love.

With best regards,

Mr. Paul Frankenfückler, M.D.

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Dear Mr Paul,
I really appreciate your effort and been interested in doing this business with us ,which i also consider the transaction as a very big business opportunity for us to term up and generate big fund as well as you have been looking for a place to invest ,so we have been looking for a serious ,truthworthy and honesty to do business with but God so kind he made to know each other.Am send my sypamtic heart to what happened to you whereby you lost your wife ,nevertheless God knows the reason he allowed such to happened ,i also use this middum to ask you to take heart.

It will a very great thing and alot of opportunity for both us when you visit because,there is alot of businesses here in our counrtry whereby you may like to do or invest on it when you are here.We have large quantity of gold and diamonds for sell right in the village where we bank and stored our precious metals locally.So i want to bear it in mind that we are going to enter into long term contract which will last many years with nonstopping business relationship,you are to tell us when you preparing or planing to vist us for inspection and signing of this long term contract before we start the shippment immediately without no delay.Kindly send us your passport photocopy so that we will get a visa of entering,as we get visa for you and we will send it back so that you buy your air ticket and give us your flight schedule for us to be at the airport to receive you at the point of arrival.

I also hear you talking of pig is the same pig everywhere ,though you will see them as you are here.

Do you have skype so that we will meet and talk tonight as network is always free at night.

Please add me with this ID .........(ahaji.safar) in SKYPE
Looking forward for your prompt respond as we can start immediately because gold is ready for export.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Usman Gambo

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Dear Mr. Assman,

Thank you for your kind message! I was so excited to see your message that I just couldn't help myself, and I jizzed all over my computer. It was crazy, I was like a fountain, there was jizz everywhere! On my keyboard, on my screen, on my various office appliance.. All was covered by my very powerful beam of jizz! It was difficult to get it off, but my cat helped a little bit by licking the stapler. Do you have a cat? Does it help you with jizz cleaning? I haven't jizzed like this since about 20 seconds after my wife died! Thank you!

Now to business! I WILL SCAN AND SEND YOU MY PASSPORT (I don't have a scanner at home, so I'll have to do it in my office tomorrow.)(I'll send the front page and the page with my name and personal information on), but first, PLEASE CONFIRM THAT I SHOULD SEND IT TO THIS ADDRESS: USMANMONGO10@YAHOO.COM, and I will promptly send it. You have my fullest trust and confidence. I hope to hear back from you quickly about this, and I will have a .pdf file ready to send!

I'll add you in Skype right away (I also only have that at my office.) One important question: I am at U.S. Rocky Mountains time, GMT -7, what is the time zone in Guinea? What is a good time of day for me to call you? (If you call me really early in the morning, you can perhaps tuck me in, and maybe I will have wet dreams!)

I look forward to hearing from you very soon, and I hope you have a good day! Please confirm your email address and I will send my passport image right away, so we can get to business with the gold! I just want to say again that I am very excited about this, and I am certain that this will be a mutually great business (and otherwise) partnership!

Sincerely yours,

Paul F.

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Dear Mr Paul,

Thanks for yuor mail and am appreciate your details.

We are going to be one family as this business will be as family i have personally narrated your story to my people and everybody have already developed hug amount of love for you.

Even the miners have heard that there is someone who will be coming very soon to put system of trading in international standard and everybody are happy.

Regard on the passport just send it through my email address which is ..............usmangambo10@yahoo...com
i will get it correct without any mistake.I will also travel to the village during weekend to go and collect about 50kgs from our local miners as call us to come.

You are right ,for asking the time difference but we will always meet in the night because our night here is your day in US so just send your SKYE ID for me to add you also.

Right now we are going to stop selling any gold even diamonds till you will come and buy finish.

This is my mobile number that you can call me at any time you may like to call me.

Looking forward to receive your passport as i will also submitte it immediately for your visa and get it back as from thursday or firday depends on when you send it to me.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Usman Gambo

+224 64 52 63 65

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Dear Mr. Assman,

This is wonderful news! I am attaching a scan of my passport (I'm a Canadian citizen, but have a greencard to live in the United States.) Let me know if you have any questions about the passport! I'm wondering about the quality of the scan, I can do it again if it is not clear enough.

Also, if you might need my address and such for arranging the visa, I'm posting this below.

Paul Vega Frankenfückler, M.D.
23 Douchebag Drive, Apt. 5W
West Camelto, CL 11919
USA

I would like to come as soon as possible, as I yearn to meet you and touch your family. Will you be able to arrange flights and give me some flight information? It would probably be easier if you could get me a ticket? How long will the visa process take?

Please be in touch very soon if you need me to re-scan my passport, and I will get a higher quality copy of it, so please let me know if there are problems!

In the meantime, I want to share with you a poem from my favorite American poet, Deborah Ann Harris:

I close my eyes and see you before me
Think I would die if you were to ignore me
A fool could see just how much I adore you
I'd get down on my knees; I'd do anything for you

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
ahh ohh i don't want anybody else
oh no oh on oh no yeah

Please be in touch soon!

Yours truly,

Paul!

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Dear Mr Paul,
Thanks for your mail and i received your informations but kindly resend me the main of your passport that bear your face,as we surposed to submitte it today to immigration and it wouldnt take more than 2days.
Kindly resend your international passport that you normally use to travell as we use it get you the visa.
Like i told you eairler that once send your proper passport it take 2days ,we get your visa and send back to you so that you will buy you air ticket and give your travelling data to me immediately.Infact we dont use the kind image that you just send to get visa.
Please my brother your proper passport that bears your image.
Looking forward to receive your passport lastest today so that we will go for the visa frist thing tommorrow morning.
Have a nice day
Regards
Usman Gambo
+224 64 52 63 65
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Dearest Mr. Asstickler,

I am so sorry, please accept my most sincere apologies for the passport thing! In the excitement in responding to your e-mail I accidentally brought the wrong passport, namely that of a cat, and not that of myself! I needed to get a cat passport after traveling to several places with my dear cat, Mr. Fluffer. Do you have a Fluffer?

I am also ready to buy airfare as soon as you give me the permission! Let me know EXACTLY WHAT AIRPORT and exactly WHEN I SHOULD COME, and I will buy tickets freakin' immediately! Is there an alternative to planes? Maybe I can take a steamboat? Please steamboat me! I can not wait for your warm embrace and your soft skin against my pelvis and your several openings, all very tight!

I am attaching my own passport here. Please let me know if there are any problems! (It's funny, I kind of look like you in this picture! It's a bad picture, it's many years old, but it is a funny coincidence! Funny! Yes! When I think of it, I rofl! Kthxbai!)

I have been in touch with potential business partners here for the gold, and I have made some arrangements that will make selling it here easier and more profitable for the both of us! I do not want you to ever doubt my sincerity and honesty. As a sign of my commitment to our business, I have made a deal with a distributor here, so it is VERY IMPORTANT THAT OUR BUSINESS WILL GO AS PLANNED!

My friend, LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS, TIME IS OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ESSENCE! I WILL NOT DENY YOU MY ESSENCE! A true friend never would.

I look forward to receiving you inside of me, as well as your new (and arousing) e-mail in my e-mail inbox in the very near future!

With the Godly love of a true friend and soon-to-be business partner,

Paul Frankenfückler, M.D.

(Thor's note: Thank you Mats for this AMAZINGLY hilarious passport! Especially the signature! Oh man!)