Iceland is awesome! Mostly.

Alright! Thor goes to Iceland! Oh, and the globetrotting Valerie from NYC, who came along for the ride after visiting (rainy) Oslo for a couple of days before returning to Columbia University - a.k.a. MY 'HOOD! - where she is studying.

We left Oslo on a Friday in August, in the early ass-crack (the fjord?) of dawn, getting to Iceland around lunch (which we had at a very fancy restaurant in Reykjavik. So, apparently, a theme for me this summer is to go to restaurants that happen to have kitschy art featuring semi-nude people. This is not me consciously trying to seek out these places, but it was telling that our first eating experience venue in Iceland had walls covered with a significant number of spread eagle ladies, which, well, I'm not sure if it's particularly appetite-stirring, but still. It happened in Sweden as well, although slightly less explicit (my parents weren't offended, so it couldn't have been that bad.).)

Either way, what met us in Iceland (apart from, well, artsy reproductions of reproductive organs) was a fantastically spectacular scenery, ranging from the stony and desert-like moon landscapes, to these, with fields surrounded by mountains, volcanoes and glaciers.

So our first day, we spent the afternoon at The Blue Lagoon, which was pretty spectacular, I must say.

The Blue Lagoon is actually completely man-made: As you may or may not know, Iceland is actually the top of a huge mountain chain that goes along the continental rift, i.e. the area where the North-American continental plate bumps and grinds with the Eurasian plate.

I'm not going to go too much into plate tectonics, geodynamics and continental drift theories here, interesting as it is (to me, at least, I don't expect anyone else to be as lame as I am), just rest assured that ISLANDUR is a very geologically active place, with a lot of volcanoes, earthquakes (let's call it Volcanism), hot springs and geysirs (let's call these Geothermal Phenomena). It's also directly above a - literally - hot-spot called the Iceland plume, but I'm not going to bore you with that (although, again, I have to recommend the Wiki article, it's pretty interesting stuff! You can also learn who Jason Morgan is, and again, it's highly recommended by me, a.k.a. Mr. Dull.)
Anyway, what I was trying to say before getting distracted by my own interest in really weird topics, is that the Blue Lagoon - which really is more green than blue, but that, as all the other things I usually write, is beside the point - is filled with water from a geothermal power plant. Iceland in fact gets most of its energy this way, with renewable and cheap energy from the heat of the earth's core, which warms up water that either runs turbines or is just distributed as is, warming up houses and whatever else needs warming up.

The only by-product of this activity is a lot of fairly warm water, and why not use this to make a huge enormous outdoor pool, and put it between the main airport and the capital, so all tourists stop on their way to or from the city?

The place was huge and awesome, and had all kinds of saunas, water ranging from almost boiling to very pleasant, and even a waterfall, in which yours truly here is getting hosed down by a billion gallons a second, or at least it felt like that. And the water was very mineral-rich, and it was essentially like a spa experience, only with volcanoes. Something for both mom and dad, in other words.

Then, later that night, upon returning to Reykjavik in a most starving state, we learned that all restaurants there close at 10 pm, and that there are literally no places to buy food in the city after that. Seriously! I was so hungry that I saw no other solution than to eat a towel, a couple of plastic bags, an umbrella and the somewhat annoyed night receptionist's left leg. Valerie ate a book about hermaphrodites, a shoe and a blond-ish old toupée we found in the hallway.

Anyway, the next day, we spent the day driving around the island/Iceland, which was pretty cool. We started out at the world's fourth largest Marshmallow farm.

The next stop was at one of many volcanic craters. Later the water disappeared and a huge and really unlikely space rocket was shot up from its depth, and then ate another rocket, and then came back. Alright, please, everyone, I hope you recognize which film this enormously improbable but sexy scenario is from. If not, I hate you (almost as much as I hate that lady who yelled at me on Amsterdam Avenue today, saying something incoherent about me having "girly sunglasses!" What the fuck? They are punk rock and bad-ass, you dirty pirate hooker, not girly!! No, seriously! you're an idiot! Ugh, anyway, that was my bitch-sighting of the day. Some people just need to shut up and stay indoors.)

This is me, on volcanic rock! It was muy exciting! I have seen so many volcanoes this summer! Maybe I should be a volcanologist! I'm sure it's an awesomely effective pick-up line to say that I am an expert in eruptions. (?)

After that, we went to Gullfoss, which means Golden Waterfall. You know, I was going to make an inappropriate joke there, but hey, I know better than to make jokes about waterfalls, so I'll refrain from posting anything like that.

Anyway, it was very, VERY big, almost as big as the one that beat the shit out of me in the Blue Lagoon.

Seriously, though, it was beautiful.

I guess I kind of like waterfalls. As much as I'm pro renewable energy sources like hydro-electricity, I'm glad this one is not made into a power plant, and stays out in the open as the wild and dramatic little spectacle of nature it is.

Nuuuuhh! Look at me! I'm Thor! I wear a hoodie and a backpack with stuff in it! Nuuuh!

After this, we went and saw a Geysir! Indeed, we had a Gey time, and saw many Gey eruptions! Alright, I'm done with silly puns for now.

There are areas in Iceland with large reservoirs of water underground. When you combine that with a lot of geothermal heat in the ground, the result is boiling water getting pushed up to the surface in big burps of boiling water and steam, much to the enjoyment and fascination of visiting senior citizens. After my birthday I consider myself one of them.

And here it is! (I waited FOREVER to get this shot, and you better fucking be impressed by it, or you have no business reading this blog, ungrateful jerk.)

This was my previous best attempt. "Are you a Gey, sir?" DAMMIT. OK, I lied, THIS is the last time I use the stupid pun.

Like, the pools of water looked so inviting, you know, like little pools of warm, delightful, crystal clear and clean water. Only the temperature is like 50 degrees above boiling. So I resisted the urge for a swim.

The area around this particular geysir was pretty cool, though, with red-ish soil. On a quasi-related note, here is a digression about the people of Iceland. So apparently, the people of Iceland are like the island itself - cold and rough. I can totally attest to that. I always thought Norwegians were kind of cold and introverted, but nothing beats the Icelanders in this regard: There are of course many many exceptions, but on the whole, I felt that Icelanders are kind of grumpy, curt and not very friendly at all. I'm not going to make any guesses why it's like that, and it is kind of a paradox, since the nightlife and such - as you'll see in a bit - is completely ridiculous. Maybe it's just towards us foreigners, but neh, I was not impressed by the people.

The landscape, on the other hand, is spectacularly impressive. Iceland is fantastically beautiful.

(Haha, Valerie and I were kind of hoping that the lady in the picture would try to go for a swim or something equally clever. She seemed kind of, uhm, how can I put this in a nice way .. Well, she kind of seemed butt stupid, and kept climbing over the little protective fences to stand on the edge of these enormous and VERY warm and unpredictable mini-volcanoes of boiling water and lava and shit, but alas, nothing happened. Almost a little disappointing, but good for her, I guess.)

I also briefly considered a Fjorhjolaferdir i Haukadalsskogi, but the picture confused me a little - I mean, there's a seagull, an ATV and a violent fart.. It was just a weird combination, I guess, I mean, what the hell does one expect with a poster like that, so we discreetly moved on with other means of transportation.

(In fact, the Icelandic language is very similar to Norwegian, only it's similary to the way Norwegian was spoken a thousand or so years ago, when Norwegians sailors inhabited the island. Since then, it has changed little, and the Icelanders are famously conservative with their language, consistently making their own words where other languages just adopt new terms from other languages. One example is "Internet", which in Icelandic is "Verdsveven", which literally means "The world web".)

This is an Icelandic license plate, by the way. So now you know.

Our next stop was Thingvellir, the old assembly place for the Icelandic "Allting", or parliament. Also, though, this is a spot where the North-American and Eurasian plates are moving from each other, not exactly at breakneck speed, but it is still very visible. Here is, literally, the end of America. Truman was wrong: THIS is where the buck stops.

And here is Europe. What is in between, you ask?

Well, a small waterfall..

..some bridges and stuff, and even a small soccer field.

It was pretty cool though, when the ground suddenly just open into these bottomless pits.

How symbolic! I have one foot in America and one in Europe. That's, yeah, very symbolic. Maybe it's time to move.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: There was this dude there, who looked JUST like the caveman in the Geico ad! It was hilarous! So, well, if you read this, well, I don't know how to say this in a nice way, but you look just like the caveman in the Geico ad!

WE WERE TOTALLY AMUSED!

The rest of the time, we spent in Reykjavik, which is a really cool/cold, incredibly hip and comically expensive little city. I mean, people there are so much more trendy than people in New York, like, seriously, NYC doesn't stand a chance against this bunch, with their all-black attires and their hipster style.

We'd heard that the nightlife in Reykjavik was ridiculous, and it totally is. Granted, the weekend we were there also was the weekend that the Reykjavik marathon and a huge cultural festival took place, but still, it's a crazy city. I mean, EVERYONE was out.

Like this picture: What is more natural than putting a huge soundsystem and a DJ out on the street in the middle of the city? I mean, there were outdoor concerts everywhere...

..With this being kind of my favorite; a rock concert that kind of degenerated into weirdness when the entire band started fighting, and ended up in a pile on the stage, while local super hero "Virgin Man" (I know, I was confused too) ran around the perimeter. It was, well, different.

And then, you know, there was the E.T. bike. So, this particular night, any place that in office hours used to be, say, a hairdresser, a jewelry store or perhaps a shoe store, schlepped in sound systems and an artist or DJ and transformed into crazy party venues and concert spots. It was ridiculous (seriously, one band literally played between hair dresser's chairs in a barbershop.)

My favorite place, though - and this one won't be funny for anyone but Norwegians, is this concert, sponsored by Keune Hair Salons and FLASS FM radio.

Yeah, that doesn't make sense if you're not Norwegian (Flass means dandruff.)

There was also this..

..Which made me incredibly confused!

And then the night ended with fireworks and such in the harbor. Surely it can't be like this every weekend there, but wow, still, nightlife was crazy, at least if you could afford it.

Seriously, though, it's a beautiful city, with lots of random street art, like this:

..Or this:

Or even this:

Also, the Allting - the Parliament - is an old brick building..

..but it has a really cool and modern extra wing, which makes it by far the coolest popular assembly building I have ever seen:

Imagine doing that with Stortinget in Oslo, or adding an ultra-modern wing to the Congress building in D.C.!

Among other architectural gems was this, the Hallgrims Cathedral (the statue, a gift from the U.S. Government, is of Leiv Ericson, a name you seriously should have heard by now, as he is the first known European to ever make it across the Atlantic to America. Screw Columbus, this is The Man.)

There is also city hall:

..And finally, this store, to the hardy-har-har enjoyment of my dear Norwegian readers:

Alright! That sums up my summer break for this year. Now I can finally start blogging about other, everyday things again, like how much I look forward to getting a Smackberry next week, and how awesome it is that students are moving back to Columbia again, and that Turbonegro is coming to NYC again, and many other things. So yeah! Happy Labor Day, everyone!