A look into the crystal ball!

Yes, friends, it is time for me to put on my big, luxurious robe and my pointy hat - no, no, no, not the KKK outfit! I am thinking of my male witch outfit, that I keep under my bed! Also, I am looking into the crystal ball that I have put between my shoes and my radiator, it's kind of a new and modernistic addition to the decor.

Anyway, here are my predictions for 2008! Feel free to add your own!

-First of all, Amy Winehouse will die. That's kind of a given. Probably Pete Doherty too, but at least Winehouse has a micron of talent, as opposed to the bleating A.D.D. junkie retard Doherty. Get out of our gene pool already, Pete, you suck!

-Some but not all athletes will boycott the China Olympics. China, on the other hand, will tackle mounting international pressure and start having political strings attached to their investments in Africa, especially Darfur. No more press freedom can be allowed before the games, sadly. China will probably get more gold medals than the U.S. and every other team.

-Unless there is new terrorism on American soil, there will be a Democratic president. (You know, let me add a comment here: American voters are ridiculous: The only time there has been terrorism on American soil has been under REPUBLICAN leadership in the white house (or, at least with a Republican in the white house - the fact that there is a Republican there does not, sadly, imply any form of leadership), yet because they play on fear more, Republicans will always seem stronger defence-wise. It's ridiculous.)

Also, let me use this opportunity to announce my ideal Prez / VP running mate team: Barack Obama and Michael Bloomberg! Obama/Bloomberg for 08! Yay! Seriously, Obama is great, and Bloomberg has the business sense that American needs right now, I think they would be a fantastic team. I guess Hillary is the front runner (although in some new polls there is little statistical difference between her and Obama), but although she has some good thoughts, I just think her record of lying - A LOT - is kind of depressing, and that certainly won't end once she becomes president. Neh, Obama Bloomberg, that would be awesome! We need to Make Michael Run!

-As in every election year (this is actually a statistical fact, for whatever that's worth) the economy will be fairly strong in the U.S. (The incumbent usually pulls all the strings and uses all available bells and whistles to make the economy (appear) strong, and the stock market goes up markedly compared with the year before.) The subprime mortgage thing will probably blow over fairly easily, I think. And seriously, a little down period occasionally is not bad for business long term at all, it weeds out businesses that are poorly run, and leaves the economy much healthier once the slump passes.

-I think the oil price will go down. Really, the level it is on now is unnaturally high, and mostly based on hype and fear. As the conflict in Iraq will probably cool down even more due to the American surge there, this fear will be relieved, and prices will go down.

Yes! This is me! This is what I look like today!

-Japan will get at least one new Prime Minister.

-Iran will not get The Bomb. Come on, they can't build a fucking bomb. They can't even build functioning shaving machines, how can they build a nuclear bomb? It is at least 3 years away, I am sure.

-After starting un-freezing their relations in Annapolis, Israel, Hamas (in Gaza) and the Palestinian president Abbas will perhaps start talking seriously about a peace deal again. Obviously, a two-state solution needs to be negotiated, and the sooner this can happen, the sooner the region can calm down and rebuild after, oh, a couple of thousand years of constant idiotic war-mongering. Yes, splitting Jerusalem will be a tough call, but probably needs to be done, at least for now. Maybe an independent city state solution would be the best, as proposed by some.

-Michael Jackson will start performing again. On his tour rider: M&M sorted after primary colors (no mixes, bitch!), scented candles, and a lubed-up 9-year-old boy.

-The Spice Girls will be outlawed, hopefully.

-Belgium will start negotiating a split, Czech Republic/Slovakia-style, into a Northern, Dutch-speaking Flanders part, called Bel-Diddly-Elgium, and a southern French-speaking part, Wallonia.

-Omar Al-Bashir, president of Sudan, is nominated to "The Biggest Douchebag of the Universe" award, and wins, after the only serious competition he faced was from James Blunt and Pete Doherty - Doherty obviously O.D.s, and bleating idiot Blunt dies from foot and mouth disease, hence, Al-Bashir wins. He celebrates his victory by not allowing anyone else than AU forces (Come on, seriously! .. Peace keepers from Rwanda?? Are you fucking kidding me?) into Darfur.

-Also, conflict in southern Sudan flames up again, but Al-Bashir still probably won't let any real peace keepers set their boots there. That situation just sucks, we need to forget about Mogadishu and get a real international force there like, right now, the people there have suffered enough. The whole African continent is losing the little political credibility they have by celebrating leaders like Al-Bashir and Robert Mugabe, who are just testament to how shitty things can get if you mix evil, incompetence and support from your political peers. Seriously, they should NOT have been invited to Lisbon, I would TOTALLY have done like Gordon Brown, and boycotted that meeting, the damn thing just has no credibility whatsoever when they imply that Al-Bashir (douchebag) and Mugabe (lunatic) should have the right to "lead" (and by lead I mean fuck up) their respective countries.

-After a ridiculous farce of an election in Russia, Putin will probably find some clever way of staying in power for the rest of his life, being the autocrat that Russians apparently like. Russians are just ridiculous. Also, they will be more nationalistic, and Russia will probably go to war with some other country - most likely Georgia - within a couple of years, because an attack on Georgia is an implied attack on America.

-Speaking of which, Georgia has an election coming up as well, but I think Saakashvili will be re-elected. Neh, I like Saakashvili, he's done a pretty good job with re-building his country, and I am ready to forgive him his quasi-corruptness and various indiscretions of the flesh, he has kind of turned that country around. Whatever happens, I shall get reports from Georgi, which is exciting too!

-Let's see, what else. Neh, I'll stop there. Have a great week, everyone!

(In other news, I finally had my "damenes tale" on Friday's Christmas party, and I survived, which is a weight off my shoulders. Today, I got almost all my Christmas shopping done, and also, took my enormous tip jar to the bank and got it exchanged: Guess how much I had! I had like 130 bucks in change! I promptly went and bought my first pair of Diesel jeans, and I am super excited about them! :-) )