Donald Duck v. Comparative Linguistics: Stuff you didn't know about Hewey, Dewey and Louie

OK, here's a funny list for you guys. The smartest of the smart of the people who occasionally read my blog, noticed that in a recent post, I had a reference to Donald Duck, where I ranked my favorites of Hewey, Dewey and Louie. The rank goes like this:

3. Dewey
2. Louie
1. Hewey

Hewey and Louie are both top choices, so the judging between the two was difficult. Hewey won a narrow victory, however, as he seems to be the most intelligent of the three. His level of analytical thinking and ability to come up with elegant solutions to complex and abstract intellectual challenges proves that he is a worthy winner. He is also well dressed in the latest European fashion and a true metrosexual. The only thing deducting points was his short marriage with Britney Spears.

Louie is also smart, but less mature than Hewey. In addition, Louie's singing voice is kind of flat, and he has small smelly feet. He has also a reputation for being the pervert of the three, and for groping female assistants, but these are thus far only rumors and did not contribute to the judges' final decision. He was also briefly married to Britney Spears.

Dewey, on the other hand, is always the negative one, and is not a good choice for winner of this bracket. He is also famously prone to both violence and cross dressing, in addition to his problems with body odor and very severe and uncomfortable bladder-issues. He has also been known to flirt with psychotropic drugs, as well as with occultism and black magic. Dewey is in fact a male witch, as we all know from his guest appearances on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Ella Enchanted". He also plays the accordion, clearly making him a messenger from Satan. In fact, judges aren't even certain if he's a "He"; not as opposed to "She", but as opposed to "It". The fact that he is the incontinent satanic crackwhore of the three makes him a less than desirable choice for the judges. Needless to say, Dewey has also been married to Britney for a few hours, but then again, haven't we all? I don't think I know anyone who hasn't, and I myself can sure not cast the first stone. Those two hours in Vegas were sweet, I tell you, Sweet!

However - and here is the point of this hitherto pointless and not necessarily factually correct post - Hewey, Dewey and Louie have kind of funny names in other languages.

In Norwegian, they are Ole, Dole and Doffen. In Swedish, they are Knatte, Fnatte and Tjatte. In Dutch, they are Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. In Spanish, they are Jorgito, Juanito and Jaimito, and in Mexican they are Hugo, Paco and Louis. In Argentina, they are Huguito, Dieguito and Luisitono. In Danish and Icelandic, they are Rip, Rap & Rup. In Italian, they are the very Latin-sounding Qui, Quo & Qua (Quo Vadis, Qui?) In Portuguese they are Huguinho, Zezinho and Louisinho, in German Tick, Trick and Track, and in Polish Dyzio, Zyzio and Hyzio. In Russian they are the very American sounding Billy, Willy, and Dilly. In Sri Lanka, they are Tuj, Luj and Muj, and finally in Finland, they're Tupu, Hupu and Lupu (all names are also cities in Finland)

Just wanted to let you all know. And yes, this is stuff that actually interests me. And yes, I might be insane.