Random stuff, plus BOO! Hairstyling vacuum attachment!

So today, while eating a pineapple, I made some realizations:

1) Work is going well. They're demanding, but it's fun, and most of my workmates are great (There are exceptions, of course, especially the ones who complain about their mom not bumping them up to first class on flights, so that they have to sit - and I quote, I kid you not - "back there with the cattle". I am all about non-violence, but some people just need a hearty and generous bitch slap.)

2) This is an incredibly funny beer ad. Boo Hairstyling Vacuum Attachment indeed! (It says "not a real product" on the bottom, but I beg to differ: It's right here, and it looks like an absolute death trap.)

3) I just spent 50 bucks (that's FIFTY bucks) on a ticket to Six Flags. They charge three dollars for YOU to print it out yourself. Wait, I'm going to write that again, just think about it: THEY charge you THREE dollars so that YOU can print it YOURSELF.. What the FUCK?? It's a Print 'n' Go charge, but it makes absolutely no sense at all, and someone needs to sue their greedy ass.

Anyway, I'm going there tomorrow (hope they don't read this before that, lest a rollercoaster "accident" happens..) with Giorgi, his brother (who eventually made it through U.S. Immigration after failing to remember Giorgi's exact address and Giorgi's neighbor's maiden name. If you don't know that, you're obviously a terrorist, because no terrorist would - of course - be able to fabricate an address. This country is sometimes amazing in its stupidity and fascination with pointless red tape.), and any given number of members of the Lomsadze - Melnyk - Fernandez-Moreira household

(Yes, we are very international, but at least our moms don't bump us up to first class for that 30 minute trip from DC to Bum-fuck Egypt, Michigan. What an absolutely repulsive person: Will I resist the urge to bitch slap the next time? Find out right after this word from our sponsors!)(Actually, I have no sponsors.)

Anyway, check back tomorrow night, as I'll try to post pictures of us on roller coasters!

4) I think I just found an apartment in NYC! It looks like a really nice place, the three roommates seem awesome, and it's very close to Columbia, which means that it's in Morningside Heights (Upper-upper West Side-ish), a safe and fairly nice part of town, just north-west of Central Park (that's capitalized, right?).

Anyway, I'm heading up there next weekend to check it out and - hopefully - clinch the deal. Oh, the place features plenty of floor space, so yeah, you all need to come visit.

5) Today I watched two episodes of my new favorite show (well, second to HB), The Comedians of Comedy. Well, I guess it's really not a show as much as it is a description of life on the road with four of the funniest and downright weirdest comedians in the world. Here are two of my favorite quotes: (yeah, I'm trying to wash the cattle thing out of my system)

-"You know what I like to do when I sit here in my rockin' chair on my front porch? Respecting other religions."

-"We are the Beardos, the Beardos, the Beardos! We are the Beardos and we have Beards!". (Actually, some of them didn't, which strangely made it even funnier.)

6) Oh, and out of curiosity, I just now googled the most random thing I could think of, namely "Beard of doom" and lo and behold, a blogger - and a pretty funny one at that - has a blog called the Reet Smoot and the Beard of Doom. Yeah, I was surprised too!

Anyway, gotta hit the hay, but I promise to post a picture of me and Giorgi screaming like school girls in some coaster thing tomorrow. It shall be memorable. Until then: Stay in school, eat your vegetables, and don't use inappropriate racial slur. Or should you?