Guatemala 2 - Tikal: Welcome to the freakin' Jungle, We have - uhm - pyramids! All the pyramids you want! Yeah yeah yeah yeah-yeah!!

So, on early Saturday morning, we flew from Guatemala City into the freakin' jungle!

It was a crazy trip, and, well, I may or may not have accidentally become a weird perv - see, what happened is that I guess I mistook "Damas" for "Dudes", and accidentally went into the ladies' room at the Guatemala City airport. As I was in there, it struck me that many Guatemalan men have a very high-pitched voice, until I realized that, wait, these are not men at all! "Why do all these women go into the men's room?" I thought. I'm an idiot.

So yeah, I was stuck there, and tried to wait until it got a little more empty, so I could sneak out, with my weird crime going unnoticed by anyone. Not so.

The room became increasingly full, and at one point, I just had to leave, lest I missed my plane. So I scurried out of my little stall. Now, various events that I shall not discuss in detail have led me and some of my friends to question the aesthetic quality of the Guatemalan female. But dear readers, I can assure you - as I shamefully hurried out of the ladies' room, I literally ran into the three most spectacularly beautiful girls I have ever seen in my life, at least until their heavenly faces contracted into a "WHAT THE FUCK?" expression (or whatever the expression is in Spanish - "Que el Fuck?"). "I'm Norwegian!", I mumbled, and ran and ran. Fortunately they were not on my plane.

So yeah. The last time I went to a ladies' room was in a Silja Line ferry between Stockholm and Helsinki, but to be fair, some of the Finnish ladies there had significant amounts of facial hair, so I don't really think that instance actually counts.

Anyway! Enough about my perv adventures!

So yeah, we flew into the jungle north of Guatemala City, and drove through said jungle for bout an hour, through some pretty spectacular landscape.

This is what a jungle road looks like, or, at least, the good parts of it!

Eventually, we came to our destination, the Tikal Mayan pyramids!

Look at the author! It's a sign!

And good times were had! See you all later!

Haha, no, I have more pictures, trust me!

This is where you can swing your babies around, Steve Irwin-style!

This is a crazy spider tree.

Indeed! We are on the interpretive trail! The interpretive DANCE trail! Sigh, how is I miss my unitard!

We're in the jungle, folks! The freakin' jungle! They had fun and games!

After walking through the jungle, we eventually found what we had searched: The fountain of glass bottle cokes! It was heavenly! There's also some stone thing in the back. But nevermind that! The glass bottle coke was divine, I tell you! Sigh! Someone needs to import that to NYC!

Tikal was a fantastic place. Seriously. With the first settlement from 900 B.C., it covered over 500 square kilometers, with a huge number of pyramids...

..Such as this one!

Yup. I am in Guatemala, folks!

The famous Guatemalan Testicle Tree.

We also ventured into the bowels of these pyramids, and it was all very Indiana Jones (Seriously, it was fantastic.)

Temple / pyramid ruins galore.

So this pyramid was the big one, the big mama, the John Holmes of the ancient mayan pyramids. And yes, in spite of the jungle heat, we were destined to climb it.

For the pyramids that were too tall and too steep to be climbed on the steps, the fine people of Tikal had built little ladders on the side. They were essentially vertical, making it a pretty hairy climb.

But with this view from the top, though, it was totally worth it.


Imagine a severed head rolling down this bad boy.

Appropriately, we were on top of the pyramid at noon. Indeed, the sun was important in the mythical universe of the Mayans, so yeah, we were excited to be there right then!

Good times on high altitudes!

This, my friends, is a jungle.


After coming down, we were, well, pretty worn out.

Then I saw a monkey! Possibly one of the most awesome moments of my life!

There was climbing galore, and fun was had.

Detail of pyramid wall.


Detail of what the ground in a jungle looks like!

Alright, I need to pack my stuff for my trip home, but I will clean up this post sometime soon, so please come back soon for a less ridiculous post!

Have a good week, everyone!