When shoes attack! Another news update from Norway.

When is it going to end? Another news update from Norway, land of the midnight sun, home of the blonde people.

-I was very happy to learn that there is now a rational and reasonable reason not to wear flip flops. In this article, the plentiful perils of flip flops are thoroughly explored. Not only will they kill you in traffic, they will also lower your sperm count and fiercely attack your liver, kidneys and reproductive organs. So there you go, you should just have listened to me in the first place. (By the way, don't you love how the article specifies that flip flops lower the sperm count "in men"? ..As opposed to..? Clearly the age old conflict between science and journalism is still unresolved, and a restraining order between the two might soon be necessary.) So be careful: Flip flops could and would kill if provoked.

-My least favorite book of the summer - Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" - is actually about to be filmed, and by none other than the Man himself: Francis Ford Coppola. Anyone who's suffered through this epic, classic piece of crap knows that it's a fairly big challenge to put it on the silver screen (Ah, the cinematic clichées! How I love them!), but if anyone can do it, it's probably him. I would prefer it if his daughter did it, though, as that would give the movie a great soundtrack, Scarlett Johansson and those funny little Japanese people.

-I'm going to start translating Swedish texts to English for Berkley. Little does he know that I - as a proud Norwegian - fiercely hate everything that has to do with Sweden, and I'll make sure to insert random derogatory statements about Swedes in my translations. I am not the only one who feels this way about Swedes, though. The Westboro baptist church has taught us all that (and I kid you not, this is a direct quote) the "popinjay King of Sweden - a moral titmouse in the plumage of a peacock, (...) lives lavishly with his lazy, horny kids (...) is King of Fags, King of Zoophiles, King of Pedophiles, and King of Incestuous Perverts."

-I just came back from a trip to the plump, dramatic mountains of Norway! For those interested, I first spent a few days in a "Seter" near Gol, where I did some hiking, some horseback riding and some fairly reckless ATV-driving. I then hiked from Liomseter to Haldorsbu and back, which took a few days. It was a pretty good trip, and my nose is sunburnt after a decent amount of sunshine. For those not so interested, here is a picture of a mountain. It's not in Norway and I've never been to this mountain or even seen it myself, but it's nevertheless a mountain. I guess you get what you pay for.