I went to New York and all I got was this AWESOME FUCKING T-SHIRT!!! Also: Thor meets a CRAZY LION!

OK, say no more, this is hands down the coolest t-shirt in the world!! It is THE MIGHTY THOR, casually swinging his oversize tool! And there's also a totally real lion in the background. I am not even kidding: I wasn't aware of this at the time, but a lion had escaped from its cage at the National Zoo, and was lurking just behind me, clearly attracted by my youthful handsomeness and well-accented upper body. It tried to attack me, but I bravely fought it off with Judo kicks and by casually swinging my oversize tool. It later went on to eat a family of three, a bearded lady, a Burmese snake charmer, and a Happy Meal. Then it went on to star in the Broadway hit "The Return of the Lion King - That Bum Michael Eisner Owes Me Royalties. And No, Elton, I Don't Want To Feel Your Love Tonight, So Stop Fucking Calling Me Already! Also, I'm Not Going To Call You Sir - You Should Be Happy With 'That Guy'."