Randomness on the Subway! Plus, Japanese people! Oh, and the world's funniest robbery!

OK, so I've got a ton of random crap to blog about today, so I'll numerate it, as always.

1) In the most random turn of events since the Great Fire of Mjøsa, I ran into a fellow Mizzou grad from my year on the Subway today. It was absolutely bizarre, and she even lives on my street, which is completely weird. Either way, there are apparently a few other people from my year in town, which is kind of cool, and hope to see them soon.

2) So, Johnnie's coming to New York for the first time ever on Friday, which is going to be pretty grand. She was kind of worried about New York City crime (to be fair, I am completely making this up, she hasn't uttered any worry about crime at all). But still, her constant nagging (again, there was no nagging whatsoever) made me look up crime statistics for New York. Here they are. This page is kind of cool, because you can compare he crime rates of different cities. For instance, you are more likely to be raped and burgled in Columbia, Missouri, than in New York City, but much more likely to be mugged in the latter. Comparing with Washington, D.C., gives a pretty interesting picture too: Crime in D.C. is completely off the charts, which didn't really come as a surprise, but Johnnie should really have been much more worried there: The murder rate is 5 times that of New York; chance of being raped is twice as high, and you're six times more likely to get your car stolen. Even though the population of D.C. is only one sixteenth of New York's, the actual number of murders is only a third. So yeah, put that in your pipe and smoke it, Johnnie! (For the last time, she did not mention this even once.)

3) Speaking of crime, I'm including two videos here (and again, I can no longer post videos on my blog, and it pisses me off!) The first is the world's most hilarious burglary: You NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO! The burglar's second brush with those unfortunate forces of gravity is hilarious - the only thing funnier is his third fall! That must hurt so much, but it is just so freaking funny!! He should have understood that a ladder is not a good idea.

4) My Danish friend Andy alerted me of this not at all disturbing shot from a Japanese game show, where - in classic Japanese style - achievement is not rewarded: Failure is punished. And quite painfully at that. Beware! Not for the squeamish - there is considerable pain involved, blatantly obvious for the poor fucker in red. This is not Kvitt Eller Dobbelt!

5) Finally, I just have to add something that I've completely forgotten: Britney and K-Fed split up!!! I am SO excited: This means that K-Fed is back on the market! Huzzah! So yeah!