If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge Danish pastry.

I'm trying - although frankly not very hard - to be respectful of all creatures big and small. This piece of news was just kind of funny, though: The AP reported today that Iranian bakers are renaming Danish pastries to "Roses of the Prophet Mohammed".

This has happened before, of course, when two Congressmen who shall remain nameless (Robert W. Ney and Walter B. Jones, R's (duh!) of OH and NC respectively) who gave French Fries its new less French and more Post 9-11-name. However, along the lines of "Freedom Fries", I think these new pastries really should be called "Repression Rolls".

Also, doesn't the name "Roses of the Prophet Mohammed" imply a graven image of Mohammad's roses, roses which no doubt are much too perfect to be depicted in mere infidel pastry? Another thing I've wondered about is whether written languages which are more pictographic, like - at least partly - Chinese, can even write the word Mohammad?

I don't know why this matter upsets me so much, but it does, so just learn to freaking live with it!

A post-caricature continental breakfast, consisting of coffee, fresh orange juice, some random fruit and the Roses of the Prophet Mohammed (Glazing Be Upon Them).

(That was such an easy tar-jay, but I just couldn't help myself. Come on! Roses of Mohammed? If I were a prophet, I'd be so freaking offended if someone named after me a stupid cake with even less nutritional value than a freaking Happy Meal. If you're gonna name something after Him, at least give him something healthy! Why not simply name it "Piece of Pastry With Glazed Sugar and Some Other Random Shit On It"? Come on!)