Happy weekend! Plus, Norwegian technology. PLUS! Thor gets a Rolex!

So, Norwegians tend to think that we are extremely hi-tec, lightyears, nay, aeons ahead of the rest of the world. Sometimes, sadly, that is not true. So apparently, Blackberrys - which are completely ubiquitous in any U.S. city - are the next big thing in Norway, and a designated Blackberry store has opened - although, it doesn't have any Blackberries yet (apparently the network in Norway doesn't support it, or, perhaps we're just genuinely slow). Neither, of course, does my work place, but that is also a security thing.

Well, compare that to this morning, when a homeless guy on the subway - with no pants and a huge beard full of various household items - well, was tapping away on his Blackberry. So yeah.

In other news, last night I went to an Ibsen movie (of course - with Liv Ullmann, no less). Later, however, I went to the Explorer's Club on the Upper East Side, where a Norwegian Explorer and Adventurer held a lecture about his record-breaking trek across the South Pole. After that, Rolex - who sponsored his trip - invited us to a private supper in the club's dining lounge. Of course, as you'd expect, the dining lounge was full of hunting trophies - stuffed tigers and cheetahs and lions and a huge freakin' Polar Bear, in addition to antelopes and .. I don't know, crazy saber-toothed wildebeasts with laser guns on their heads. I felt like I was the only post-colonial diner there, but it was still fun, and I shared a table with the President of Rolex and the President of the Explorer's Club. Here is the absolute highlight of the conversation:

"So once, my daughter lost the cap of my Mont Blanc pen. I mean, we searched through my entire plane, but we just couldn't find it."

As I left, I was handed a goodie bag. A goodie bag sponsored by Rolex. Think about it: A goodie bag sponsored by Rolex HAS GOT to be pretty cool. So I open it, and there are a few books and stuff, but in the bottom, deep down between all the other stuff, there is a little box. It is shaped like the box of a watch, and it has the Rolex logo on it. And I FREAK OUT, because I felt that the most amazing moment of my life was only seconds away: I, THOR, would have my own Rolex, a watch that ordinarily costs like 10 months of my salary. I couldn't believe it!

So I pick up the little box, and it's kind of heavy, exactly as heavy as you'd expect when there is a watch in side, and I break the first seal.. And I open the box.. And there is a SECOND seal! And I break the second seal, and I fold away some pieces of paper, and LO AND BEHOLD! THIS IS MY BIG MOMENT!! THIS IS IT!

IT IS A ROLEX... .. ... CANDYBAR!!!

Which was great, because I obviously want cavities and diabetes more than I want that stupid watch anyway. Maybe one day in the distant future I can laugh at it. But for now, deep resentment and candy-fueled anger is my only feeling.


Have a good weekend!