Some not so fun and trivial things.

So far, my blog has basically only been about fun trivial events. Smoking chimps, bands that play on stoves and my hair are all the fun and neat and strange things I've been blogging and ranting about so far.

Some times, however, not so fun and trivial things come along.

This week, my aunt died. She was barely over 50.

She had a devastating brain tumor 7 years ago. At first, we thought that she would fully recover, and even though the tumor wiped out much of her ability to move around and she had trouble speaking, she was mentally mostly completely clear.

Since then, her condition has been going up and down. There were many good days, when she was happy, smiling and positive. Although she had to use a wheelchair, she was an optimist, and life seemed good. Then there were darker days, when it became painfully clear that her tumor was on the offence again, and that it was depriving her of the abiliy to speak and eat, slowly taking away her mental abilities and making her go through several tremendously painful operations and treatments.

I saw her the last time this summer, when my grandmother and I went to visit her at the nursing home where she spent her last year. It was a good visit and it is a very good last memory of her. Even though she didn't talk too much and even though I know she was in a lot of pain, she lightened up in a big, bright smile when she saw us. The staff at the nursing home was also exceptional, doing all they possibly could do to help and accommodate her. And since she was a very strong woman, I never actually thought it could be the last time I saw her.

On Wednesday however, she lost the fight against cancer. She was surrounded by her two children, her mother, her sister (my mother), and her husband, who was faithfully and loyally by her side until the end. Although it was a moment of sadness and loss, it was also a moment of peacefulness and dignity, and through our faith, a moment of hope for something better to come.

I do not like to write about these things. I realize that I'm from a culture where death is one of the last remaining taboos, and even though we have been very open in my family about this, it's still something that is uncomfortable to write and talk about. Furthermore, it feels as though I'm being melo-dramatic and somehow awkwardly seeking attention and sympathy. I'm ordinarily a very private person, and not at all the kind who is very open and verbal about my emotions. So this sudden outpour of feelings might seem strange to some. I guess writing about this is a good way to deal with it, though, and although my blog so far has been all fun and games, I guess even I sometimes need to address other things than trivial bagatelles.

If you want to read a powerful first hand account of life as a cancer patient, visit the journal of BBC reporter Ivan Noble. He wrote about his battle with cancer until his death this February and his diary is some of the most personal, touching and brave journalism you will ever read.